Social media is best described as an individual marketing tool. We post our accomplishments, capture our best smiles and highlight the moments of our lives we deem worthy of sharing. We have become a society disillusioned by filters and elaborations. Rarely do we allow our network to know our darkest hours, as though our lingering shadows will suddenly block out the sun for everyone else.
In my latest blog series about self discovery, I’m about to get #NoFilter #JustMe #ThrowbackThursday #FlashForwardFriday #Blessed #Love and every other cheesy hashtag you can think of. Or, simply put, I’m going to be real with you. Scary thought, letting the world wide web (emphasis on world) into your life without any [fire]walls up.
Everyone has a story to tell and I’m going to tell you mine as it’s happening.
But before we can trek forward it’s important you know the road I’ve been on to get here.
In college and post grad, I was a media relations specialist. My work spanned across every platform from Manhattan to Montauk. I was passionate about it all. In 2014, I wanted to follow another passion of mine, travel, so I took a job as a travel advisor. Yet, after a few short months into the career I felt a disconnection.
On April 15th, 2016, I walked into my corporate office in the heart of Midtown Manhattan for the last time. After 20 months, my responsibilities as a travel advisor were no longer needed and I was let go. “One day you’ll realize this was the best decision for you,” my then boss told me, as though he were taking lines from George Clooney in Up In The Air. In that moment, though tears filled my eyes and anxiety took over my body, I knew he was right. I no longer wanted to be there. I thanked those I worked with, packed up my things and walked out of the building realizing this was the better path for me.
The time lapsed between then and now has been tumultuous at best. For a few days I wondered if I did the best I could at that job. I questioned if my time was wasted, which made me understand all I learned. The lows of doubting my every decision leading up to my current situation and the highs of realizing I could pursue anything I pleased. It felt as though I exited an office and entered Six Flags where every day was a new roller coaster of emotional thoughts.
What others forget to mention about unemployment is the loneliness that follows. Without a purpose each morning, without being surrounded by friends and colleagues, without having something new to say each day, it’s easy to fall into a black hole of negative thoughts. For weeks any positive light I tried to shine on myself fell victim to the darkness. While it’s a daily battle I’m figuring out ways to overcome it. Now I’ve taken a responsibility to myself to actively find a purpose, to do something worthy of my time, each and every day.
Where am I now?
I’m just a 27 year old woman figuring out what makes her happy. For today, for tomorrow and for the future ahead. I invite you to join me on my journey of self discovery.
For daily feed on what I’m up to follow me on Snapchat: NikkiOnTheDaily
Feel free to leave a comment or message me about your experiences