No Filters Required: Fitting In

I mentioned, in my introductory blog , the sense of loneliness that sometimes comes from self-discovery and unemployment. When the work-social life we were so accustomed suddenly disappears  from our lives where do we turn for that sense of belonging? With friends preoccupied with jobs, boyfriends, family etc., it becomes hard to carve out weekly bonding time we desperately need. Rather, we find our own group of people with a common interest. In my case, a common goal: fitness.

Back around the holidays I was out of shape. I felt sluggish, the cold New York weather beating down on my confidence. Every outfit a reminder of how much weight I gained. Luckily a Crunch Gym was scheduled to open in my town come Spring 2016. Eagerly, I signed up and  was able to go to their sister gym 20 minutes away until its official opening. Before my present dilemma, I would work 5 days a week  returning home by train earliest at 7:30 P.M.  It’d be too late and being too tired for a work-out, I dedicated myself to go weekends. At that time I couldn’t even do a sit-up unless someone was holding a doughnut in front of me. Every Saturday and Sunday morning I’d wake up to get in an hour cardio training and light weights before noon. I had two goals: get the perfect ass and be able to run a mile without passing out.

I started going to a weekly Zumba class Sunday mornings. I immediately fell in love with the routines and energy of the instructor. I could actually use these moves while out dancing! The more often I went the friendlier I became with the ladies around me. Though I had no contact with them outside of the gym I felt a common connection with them for that hour we were together.

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The Original Zumba Crew At Former Gym

 

When my time freed up in April going to the gym became my new ‘job’ several days a week. It gave me a purpose. By this point I was already noticing results and I achieved what I set to accomplish (well, sort of. I could run a mile but I’m a perfectionist with the Brazilian booty). Fitness was no longer an aesthetic past time but an emotional survival tactic. The drive was personal time I used to blast music, the endorphins released were an immediate confidence booster and the familiar faces gave me a sense of belonging.

Finally, just before Memorial Day Weekend, Crunch Gym opened in my town and my Zumba instructor, Ashley, was scheduled to teach twice a week. Her first class was almost maxed out, as so many of her classes are, with new faces. In the crowd three of us were followers from the other gym. Having to teach the entire class her routines she asked myself and the other two ladies to raise our hands while saying. “If you can’t see me follow them. They know what to do.” In that moment I realized, more than I had in the previous weeks, that I was a part of something. I wasn’t so alone anymore.

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The New Zumba Crew (so far)

Originally, when I joined the gym it was to be back in shape and be healthy. Over the course of several weeks it became a lifestyle. Now it’s my sanity. My body is a long term project that I have committed to for life and nothing beats the sense of pride I get from seeing results after all the hard work I put into it.

For some working out is just a necessity to looking good. In my case it has become a community. The more classes I join the more involved I am. I’m a part of the #CrunchCrew!

 

 

 

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Feel free to leave a comment or message me about your experiences

 

 

No Filters Required: Introduction

Social media is best described as an individual marketing tool. We post our accomplishments, capture our best smiles and highlight the moments of our lives we deem worthy of sharing. We have become a society disillusioned by filters and elaborations. Rarely do we allow our network to know our darkest hours, as though our lingering shadows will suddenly block out the sun for everyone else.

But why?

In my latest blog series about self discovery, I’m about to get #NoFilter #JustMe #ThrowbackThursday #FlashForwardFriday #Blessed #Love and every other cheesy hashtag you can think of. Or, simply put, I’m going to be real with you. Scary thought, letting the world wide web (emphasis on world) into your life without any [fire]walls up.

Everyone has a story to tell and I’m going to tell you mine as it’s happening.

But before we can trek forward it’s important you know the road I’ve been on to get here.

In college and post grad, I was a media relations specialist. My work spanned across every platform from Manhattan to Montauk. I was passionate about it all. In 2014, I wanted to follow another passion of mine, travel, so I took a job as a travel advisor. Yet, after a few short months into the career I felt a disconnection.

On April 15th, 2016, I walked into my corporate office in the heart of Midtown Manhattan for the last time. After 20 months, my responsibilities as a travel advisor were no longer needed and I was let go. “One day you’ll realize this was the best decision for you,” my then boss told me, as though he were taking lines from George Clooney in Up In The Air. In that moment, though tears filled my eyes and anxiety took over my body, I knew he was right. I no longer wanted to be there. I thanked those I worked with, packed up my things and walked out of the building realizing this was the better path for me. 

The time lapsed between then and now has been tumultuous at best. For a few days I wondered if I did the best I could at that job. I questioned if my time was wasted, which made me understand all I learned. The lows of doubting my every decision leading up to my current situation and the highs of realizing I could pursue anything I pleased. It felt as though I exited an office and entered Six Flags where every day was a new roller coaster of emotional thoughts.

What others forget to mention about unemployment is the loneliness that follows. Without a purpose each morning, without being surrounded by friends and colleagues, without having something new to say each day, it’s easy to fall into a black hole of negative thoughts. For weeks any positive light I tried to shine on myself fell victim to the darkness. While it’s a daily battle I’m figuring out ways to overcome it. Now I’ve taken a responsibility to myself to actively find a purpose, to do something worthy of my time, each and every day. 

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A ‘fortune’ I found from Madisons Smoothie Cafe

Where am I now?

I’m just a 27 year old woman figuring out what makes her happy. For today, for tomorrow and for the future ahead. I invite you to join me on my journey of self discovery.

 

For daily feed on what I’m up to follow me on Snapchat: NikkiOnTheDaily

Feel free to leave a comment or message me about your experiences